My Confidant
by Lishaaa'. and T
Summary: My name is Mikan Sakura, I have a critical heart disease. You're going to read about my life. You are my Confidant. You are going to carry my burden... Please, just let me get this off my back... //NxM//
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New story! Please read, even if this idea is like another's, do not be put off, please read!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

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I waited for the bus to come. I waited. And waited. Until I couldn't take it any longer, when I thought back to today's events I sighed. Some girl dumped water on me, claiming that I cheated on her, I mean, I didn't even know her, and I don't date. Period.

Secondly, I realised that everyone I knew was paired off. Ruka with that girl, I forgot her name, but I know she's at some hospital. Mum with Dad. Yuu with Nonoko. Koko with Anna. Mochu with Permy. Aoi with Youchi. Heck, even stupid Andou had that Misaki chick.

Thirdly, it started raining. Yes. It was fucking raining. And I was a suburb away from my house, so the only option was to wait for the bus.

And to top it all off, the stupid 6 o' clock bus is late. My mother is going to kill me if I'm late to dinner again, soaking yet.

I was shivering, it was damn cold. I looked left again to see if the bus was coming, and praise the lord, it was. I quickly got on, payed for my ticket and sat upon the nearest seat.

I was warming up. Slowly. I looked down to see a brown leather diary or journal under it. I looked around to see if anyone forgot it, but when I realised that no one else was on the bus I picked it up. It was pretty plain and simple. But something was drawing me to it. So curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. The pages were old and worn out, they looked fragile, as if I made the slightest movement it'd rip in half, just like that.

In very neat hand writing it said:

_Hello, if you have this diary, I don't know who you are, if you're some kind of axe murderer or something, or maybe you're someone important, well, never mind who you are._

_I have a favor to ask. _

What the hell? This person purposely put this diary here? I decided that I'd read the rest when I got home.

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"I'm home," I said when I entered through the door.

"Welcome back Natsume-nii," said Aoi.

I smiled at her, she was too cute. "Hey, Aoi, I'm going to be in my room, so if mum asks, I'm up there, okay?"

She nodded in agreement.

"Okay."

I swiftly walked up the stairs to my room and sat down on the bed. I opened the diary and read the rest of the passage.

_Before you think that I'm some crazy person, let me introduce myself, my name is Mikan Sakura. I have a critical heart disease. _

_You're going to read about my life. _

_You are going to be my confidant. _

_You are going to carry my burden._

_You can laugh all you want after reading this diary, and throw this book away, I wouldn't care. Because I don't have long to live. Please, just read it to get it off my back._

_Please._

How could I say no to a girl I didn't know?

So I did.

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**Sort of a prologue I suppose. Pretty short, but it'll get longer, I swear!****Review, sort of like 'Turning point of Life' but it's only the part how Natsume finds something and tries to find out who it is and a, the plot is nothing like it! So give it a chance?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: really, right now I wanna thank SweetCheeks3662 and Michiruchama for reviewing all my Gakuen Alice fics so far ;D.**

**Thanks to everyone who have reviewed as well! You guys make my days sunnier!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

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Well, it's been eleven hours since the book has been in my possession, and I actually had time to spare before I had to get to school, so, I opened to where the first Diary entry was and I read it.

_Umm... this is kinda embarrassing... I'm only writing in this because, well, because, I don't actually know..._

_Well, for starters my name is Mikan Sakura, I turned ten today! So lucky, this Diary is actually my birthday present from Mama and Papa, so I have to cherish it with everything I got._

Woah, ten? This girl was ten? Now I felt bad, I'm seventeen, and reading a diary of a ten year old is like reading Aoi's diary. I skimmed to the latest entry and read it. To... uhh... make sure she still wasn't ten. Yeah. That's right...

_Heh, so this is going to be the last entry, as you see, I have no more pages, I plan to give this Diary up... somewhere, or to someone... whatever, actually, no. I'm going to get Zen-kun to put this somewhere for someone to read. Ha! Sheer brilliance Mikan Sakura. So, if you ARE reading this, then you have read the last seven years of my life, ups and downs. Cheerful times, Painful times. The time I felt like I shouldn't... or didn't belong in this world._

_So, umm... I guess, thanks... don't feel bad, I've been here all my life, I've known no other life except this one, but I suppose if you do feel bad... those feelings would get you nowhere, you feel bad for a complete stranger like me, then you'll get nowhere in life. You'll be to busy dwelling on the past to look up to the future... wow, I have a philosophy now._

_How ironic. A philosophy on looking up to the future, where I don't have one._

_Actually, I have a message to you, live life to it's fullest! Treat everyday as if it were your last! Ooh, and if you have a baby girl, name is Mikan! That'd be so cool! If you decide to put this book on the bus (where I plan to put it) again, I wouldn't be surprised if Japan's number of Mikans would suddenly rise, HA! _

_Well, yeah... umm... thanks._

_Thank you._

_Thank you._

_Thank you for everything._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Mikan Sakura._

Wow. So this girl was seventeen... that's not so bad. I flicked it back to the first page and read the rest of the passage from before.

_I live in the hospital, I've been here longer hat most of the old people here, I'm dubbed the princess of the hospital: Mikan Sakura._

_I've never been to school._

_There aren't many children my age here, so I don't have many friends._

_I'm on first name basis with all the doctors, nurses, volunteers and part-timers here._

_I know their schedules off by heart, every single one of them._

_Mama and Papa don't come often anymore. _

_I know the inside of the hospital better than most of the doctors._

_I have a critical heart disease. I actually need a new heart, although, this may actually be impossible for me because I have an extremely rare blood type. Doctors said it's a 1 in 250,000 chance. _

_They say the heart's there for you to live, for me, it's dragging me down._

_On the upside, I actually can live 'till I'm twenty! I'll die and adult! Not some stupid teenager._

_So... yeah, thanks... for listening... diary._

_Over and out,_

_Mikan Sakura._

Those chances were pretty slim. Wait, the hell am I feeling...and I feeling...pity? Shit I am, I'm feeling pity for some random chick I don't even know. That's just weird.

So her name was Mikan Sakura... she might be seventeen... she lives in the hospital, and she has a critical heart condition that may or may not kill her in the next three years?

Life must suck for her.

I put the diary in highest draw so Aoi couldn't get to it, and grabbed my back pack and walked out to catch the next bus to school.

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I sat down on my usual chair, furthest away from the teacher, closest to the windows. Right next to Ruka.

A few minutes went by until I heard Ruka stutter, "N-Natsume... is something wrong?"

I gave him a confused look. I had no idea about what he was saying.

"You... y-you, kinda look focused on something, y-you've been staring at the t-table as if you were waiting for it to suddenly combust... or something," he said nervously... then it dawned on me, he thinks I'm gonna say something snappy back at him.

Everyone quietened when they heard what Ruka said, it was a bit too quiet, so, I decided to start up some small talk, "Oi, Ruka, what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Hotaru... I can't believe you remember that I have a girlfriend."

Who did he take me for? A gold fish? I don't forget everything in a time span of three seconds thank you very much, "Why is she in the hospital again?" I asked.

Now _he_ was the gold fish, his mouth was doing the most fucking hilarious thing I've ever seen. "She's in the hospital for leukemia, after she gets the marrow, she can come back, although, she has to have monthly checkups."

I nodded, listening, "Say, what's your blood type?"

Anyone would've been taken aback by my question, "What's with the questions? You're kinda creeping me out Natsume..."

I gave him an annoyed look, "Just answer the damned question Ruka."

"A..."

"Okay, okay..."

He scooted his chair and far as it could go, further and further away from me. He held up his hands to surrender, "Okay, I'm officially creeped out, no more with the Spanish inquisition, please, and give me back the old, quiet, don't-give-a-damn Natsume back to me, please?"

My chin was supported by my hands that were on the table, "Hn."

I heard him breathe out a sigh of relief as he brought his chair closer to mine again. Bastard.

So... who exactly is this Mikan Sakura?

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**So likes? Dislikes? Do pray tell!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I've decided to juggle my stories in a now orderly manner. On Mondays and Wednesday I'll update The Betrayal. Thursday and Friday this story and Saturday and Sunday Alice Festival. Tuesday, I have Piano Lessons... So... yeah, I'll start with this schedule one monday, before that though, I'm scattering all my updates :D **

**And by the way, I live in Australia, so Monday can be Tuesday for all I know for you guys... =="

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

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"Natsume Hyuuga! Answer this question on the board right now!" exclaimed Jinno. Jeez, what was up his ass? So, being the good kid that I am, I got up and answered the question. No fuss, no muss.

"That answer you Jin-Jin?" I asked him. He hated that name. He knew I knew he hated that name. I know he knows that I know that he hates that name.

He was boiling now, the brink of giving me a detention.

_'Ding, Ding Ding'._

The bell rang. Thank God. I saluted him and walked out of the classroom with Ruka.

"So, what was with the questions?" he asked suddenly, as I was gathering my things to put inside my bag. Thank God for sixth period.

"Uhh... what questions?"

He gave me a stare, as if to say I was an idiot. I'm no idiot.

"That? Oh, I was just interested. So, how did you meet this umm... girlfriend of yours?" I asked.

"My cousin introduced me to her, he was admitted to the same hospital as her. Around three years ago they became friends," he explained to me. A he? Damn.

"So, is she... good to you?" I asked.

"Good wouldn't be a word you associate with Hotaru Imai, she actually blackmails me, she takes out her camera at the most embarrassing of times, but I guess that's her way of telling me that she cares... I guess."

"Ah hah." Seriously, I don't even care anymore.

"Oh, the guys down by the court wanna play, you coming along?" he asked.

I thought about this. The court was a twenty minute walk from home. I could be using that twenty minutes reading more of the journal. What outweighs what? Fun with friends, or Pure curiosity for a person I don't even know? "Sure, I'll be there later."

" 'Kay, actually, you can meet my girlfriend there, probably the first and last time you see her at the court, she's not a sporty type of person... and, you can meet my cousin." Now I was interested. What kind of person was Ruka's girlfriend?

"Sure, I'll come, what time?"

"Well, Tsubasa says five, but knowing Tsubasa and his idea of being fashionably late, I'd say 5:30."

"Hn."

I took one last glance at him and walked home.

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"Natsume-nii, are you going to the court again?" asked Aoi.

I nodded my head.

She gave the look, the look being the stupidly, annoyingly, cute puppy dog eye look she used on me every time she wanted to go to the court with me. I sighed, and stuck out my hand for her to grab. She eagerly took it.

"Mum, Aoi and I are going to the court, be back in an hour of two."

" ' Kay." Seriously, what mother in their right mind would let a nine year old girl, go hang out with her seventeen year old brother's friends? **(I did that once! LOL xD they were all so nice to me as well, my brother is like the evil one out of their group!)**

As we walked out the door, Aoi skipped right past me.

"Come one Natsume-nii! Hurry up!"

I grumbled, "Why do you want to go to the court anyway? It's not like you have any friends that play there."

"Sure I do, there's Tsubasa-nii and Ruka-nii and Koko-nii and Yuu-nii and Mochu-nii and... and-" I stopped her.

"Those are my friends, not yours... and stay away from Tsubasa, he's going to get you pregnant," everyone knew Tsubasa's reputation as a player.

She rolled her eyes, "That's not true Nii-chan, he's not going to get me pregnant! That's impossible," she stated.

I rolled my eyes as well, "Fine."

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"Oi, Hyuuga, over here!" called out Ruka. We had this thing going on, once on the court, we don't ever call each other by our first names. Ever.

"Okay Nogi, hold your horses."

"Why, hello Aoi-chan, how are you today?" He asked Aoi as he gave her a dazzling smile.

We all knew she had a crush on Ruka. Except him. Poor oblivious Ruka.

Well, now she's gonna get her dreams crushed, after seeing Ruka's girlfriend. In your face Aoi.

"Okay, Hyuuga, this is my girlfriend, Hotaru Imai."

She looked stoned. She had that 'I-don't-know-why-I'm-here-and-I-don't-care' look. Her gloomy attitude was a weird combination with Ruka's one. Weirdo couple

She stuck her hand, I shook it. "Hotaru Imai."

"Natsume Hyuuga."

She smirked.

I smirked.

"Wow, she's like Natsume-nii... scarryy..." commented Aoi.

I ignored her, "So, I hear you have leukemia... ahh... that's... unfortunate."

"You don't need to attempt small talk with me, I'm here for Ruka-pyon's sake," Ruka-pyon? She didn't look like the type that'd give people childish nicknames. "And this guy," she stuck her thumb out and pointed to a guy I didn't know, "Is Echizen.... he was admitted to the same hospital as me. We're friends. And he's Ruka's cousin," explained.

The guy had Blonde hair, sticking out from everywhere, he had the same look Imai had, stoic, harsh-assed, and non-caring. He was... cool looking I suppose, I have no idea how the mind of a girl worked. He gave a new meaning for the word 'flashy'.

What ever happened to the cheerful patients that live in hospitals?

I looked over to Aoi, and I could see her drool over new kid. Wow, over Ruka so quickly Aoi?

"Really, nice to meet you guys, but, I have a game and five bucks to win here," I stated. Another court rule. Whatever team wins, gets five bucks from the opposing team.

Ruka grinned, he wanted to show off some skills.

"Let's roll," Tsubasa said.

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"And the winners are... TsuNaRu Trio! Whooo!" Tsubasa exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. We won. By a hair. Last five seconds of the game and we scored a three-pointer. We won by a point.

I turned to the Benches and saw Imai holding a camera, recording us.

The hell?

I gave Ruka a look and he walked up to his girlfriend. After they talked a bit, I could see him nod in understanding. Understanding what though?

I shrugged it off.

Whatever.

"Natsume-nii, cool three pointer!" said Aoi.

I ruffled her hair.

She squealed and ran away from me.

Aoi's too cute for her own good.

"So, Imai... why the camera?" I asked.

"None of your business Hyuuga," said the other guy... Echizen was it? I'm probably only going to remember his name because of Prince of Tennis.

I scowled.

"Whatever."

I turned and walked away from the court. Aoi following me, probably day dreaming about Echizen.

What strange acquaintances Ruka makes.

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**Review please?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hiya! I felt like I haven't updated this in awhile,I don't think I'll keep to the schedule, only because I think I'm going to add more to this, so please, Bear with me!

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****Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice**

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_1__st__ of March 1992_

_Mama and Papa don't come by often anymore, the doctors say it's because they both have to work to pay for me staying in the hospital. I miss them. Last time I saw them was on my birthday, and that was two months ago._

_You know, they used to come everyday. Papa and I used to play all the time, but now its work, work, work._

_I miss them._

_It's so lonely here._

_I'm happy that I can write this all down in this diary…_

_Peace, Mikan Sakura._

At the bottom of the page, you could see the faint water marks from her tears. Was she really that lonely?

Now that I think about it, I've never actually been that lonely before, the fact that I'm always surrounded by people kind of makes that impossible.

How did it feel to have no friends?

I gently shut the journal, placing it on top of my desk. I lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I've always had Ruka, Koko, Yuu, Mochu and Tsubasa, we were brothers from another mother kind of friends. Not having them… would be weird. Different. Quieter.

"Natsume-nii-chan! Ruka-nii is here… with his…uhh Girlfriend," I heard Aoi holler from downstairs.

"Be right down," I called back.

I grabbed a jumper and pulled it over my head as I walked down stairs. When I heard a flash from a camera go off, my head snapped up. I really hated photos. Especially ones with me in 'em.

"Hotaru! Why'd you do that for?" I heard Ruka scold Imai.

"For the money, half naked Hyuuga can sell for a lot with the right buyers," she stated. I really hope this wouldn't become a habit.

"What buyers?"

"Are you an idiot or what Hyuuga? Echizen and I are going to start attending your school starting tomorrow…" she said, giving me the cold shoulder.

Why Ruka chose this girl to be his girlfriend is beyond me.

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"Class, we have two new students. Hotaru Imai and Echizen Nogi," Gaylord said, the two emotionless people just stood there, giving slight, miniscule nods.

"Hotaru Imai."

"Echizen Nogi."

The teacher was nervous, we could tell, it makes you wonder, when was the last time Gaylord over there was nervous? "A-any questions?" he managed to choke out. Hell, if I were him, I'd be scared.

Permy raised her hand high, "Why is his surname Nogi? Like Ruka-sama's?"

"Tch, what are you? An idiot? I'm related to Blondie."

"You may be cool looking but it doesn't give you the right to call Ruka names!" she screamed.

Echizen glared at poor Permy, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm the Natsume-sama and Ruka-sama fanclub president thank you very much!"

Echizen scoffed, "so you made a fanclub for someone who has a girlfriend?"

"He-… WHAT?!"

"Yeah," he pointed his thumb at Imai, "This girl here is."

"I refuse to believe Ice Queen over there is Ruka-sama's girlfriend!"

Echizen smirked, "There's always a first for everything."

Gaylord cleared his throat. "Any _other_ Quest-"

Imai interrupted him, "I believe questions are pointless, people generally keep their first impressions. You think I'm an Ice Queen? Then so be it, believe that I'm an Ice Queen. I'll probably won't change my attitude, I don't get pressured by my peers, so there's no point of trying to change me. I'm also a very big Believer in 'Time is Money', so, don't even try wasting my time on something useless, actually, don't even approach me, the only people I'd go near would probably only be Ruka-pyon, Echizen, and Hyuuga. Everyone else can piss off."

That was probably the most I have heard her speak.

I turned to Ruka beside me, his mouth was wide open. Probably the first time he's ever heard her speak so much as well.

Permy was fuming from her seat. "Who do you think you are?! What makes you so great huh? Bossing us around like we're your minions! I bet you're not even Ruka's girlfriend!"

Echizen glared at her, "You insult us, you die. We don't think we're better than you, but if you indeed think that, think about this: when was the last time you saved somebody's life? Huh? Have you ever felt needed, even when times are tough? You insult me or Hotaru, you insult her as well."

"_Her_? Who the hell is she?"

"She's my most precious person," he whispered softly. "But, if you dare insult _her_ you will perish."

Who the hell was _her_?

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"Hey, Hotaru," I glanced from over my manga, straining to listen to their conversation. Woah, where the hell did that come from? I wasn't a stalker.

Her emotionless eyes met his, "Yeah? What?"

"You gonna get her something?"

Hotaru's face softened by miles, "Yeah, the money I raised was to get her that thing she always wanted."

"How did you get the money?"

"Selling Hyuuga's photos."

This girl was bloody irritating.

For the first time since I met him, Echizen's face softened, "I'm going to get her the Ipod she's been droning about, I have more than enough, I'll chuck some of her favourites on as well."

"So, after school? Visiting hours, yeah?"

"Yeah, meet you then."

Who was _she_?

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**Who can piece this together? Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yes, Natsume meets Mikan soon :D

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

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_1__st__ May 1992_

_Five months since I last saw mama and papa. Maybe I'm over… over- what's that word? Over reacting? I think it means that I'm making small things a bit too big, well… that's what Nurse Rima says._

_Now I'm ten years old, five months and a day. I'm a big girl now!_

_Nurse Rima says that I'm allowed to go to sleep past curfew today because there are gonna be shooting stars out tonight! First time I'm ever gonna see that! It's gonna be so exciting!_

_I wish mama and papa were here to watch it with me._

_Nurse Rima says that when shooting stars are… well… shooting, people make wishes, and those wishes come true. But, I also heard that if you tell someone your wish, then it won't come true…_

_But, if I tell my diary and not nurse Rima, does that still count?_

_I don't think it counts if you tell your diary._

_Well, Diary, the one thing I really, really, absolutely positutely wish for right now… are friends. _

_It's so boring here! Nurse Rima is fun, but she's… a bit old. I want friends who I can tell my deepest secrets to, like in all those dramas and animes I watched!_

_Sincerely- is that how you spell it?_

_Well… Sincerely Mikan Sakura. _

It's funny, I remember that night really well. Koko, Ruka, Tsubasa and Mochu came up to the treehouse to watch it together. I remember I wished to be a pro basketball player. Ruka wanted to be an animal tamer, Koko a mind reader, Mochu wanted money and Tsubasa wanted to be a womanizer.

I chuckled at the thought. Tsubasa's wish certainly came true.

I wondered how hers went.

Then, I realised that we lived in two completely different worlds.

I lived in a luxurious house.

She lived in a hospital.

I was free to do whatever I wanted.

Her freedom was limited

I had great friends a guy could ask for.

She had none.

I could live to a crisp age of eighty.

And she'd die at the young age of twenty.

It proves how fucked up life could be.

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When I walked into class with Ruka, I could instantly see Imai counting up money (by selling pictures of me) and Echizen, feet propped up on the table, staring at the ceiling.

I just shook my head and headed to my seat, waiting for Gaylord to waltz into those god forsaken doors, like every morning.

"Class!" a loud male shrill sounded out. "We're having a charity ball in a few weeks!"

All the idiotic girl started squealing, I swear I saw Permy make glances at me. Not that I was going. I don't go to social things, ever.

"Oi," Echizen said, "what charity?"

"Mercy Hospital," he replied.

Only I could see Echizen and Imai's head perk up slightly.

"Well, who's in?" Gaylord asked.

Echizen and Imai were first to raise their hands. Everyone else followed suit. Except me.

Ruka and Gaylord shook their heads at me, but, seriously, come on. What else did you expect from me?

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After period six I ran out of the class like there was no tomorrow. Jinno had been explaining to us about the history of Australia. Like that was any fun. Pfft. Stupid Australians. **(Australians should take no offense! I'm Australian! But, Natsume is making up his own words now, I'm merely typing) **As I headed towards my locker, I could see Imai on her phone, speaking in hushed tones.

"What's wrong, is everything okay?"

The person on the other line must've answered because her hand that wasn't holding the phone immediately covered her mouth.

"She's what?! She's Missing?!"

I could hear the other person talking loud and frantically.

Imai pinched the bridge of her nose. When she turned to look at me, I pretended I was shoving my books back into my locker. She gave me a look and went back to talking to the person.

"She's can't be missing! How the hell could you have let her go?!... She doesn't ever know her way around Tokyo, how the-… what? You gave her a map?!... Fine… she does? How did she get that?... you told her? So you were her accomplice?!... You know it's not good for her health…" Imai's face hardened. "Okay… I guess… Fine… If she calls, tell her that I'll be waiting for her at my house. Yeah. See ya."

Imai quickly walked through the halls in a rush. I wonder what that was all about.

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I slouched down onto the seat of the bus stop. I was in the middle of grabbing my Itouch out of my bag when some girl trips over me and slams head first into the concrete. The first thing I saw as I was going to help her was her panties. Her Polka dot Panties.

Seriously, how old was this girl?

She dusted her knees and skirt and turned around to give me a glare. Despite the fact that her knees were slightly grazed by the concrete and that her skin was a bit sickly pale. She looked Absolutely Perfect.

"Hey you! You should help ladies when they fall right in front of you!"

Well, physically she was perfect. I think Mentally, she was a bit unstable.

"I was going to help you but you picked yourself up," I replied coolly.

She blushed a deep red.

Natsume: 1 Mysterious-annoying-beautiful-girl: 0

I looked at my watch and tapped my foot impatiently, when the hell is the bus going to arrive?

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Can I hear a please?" I asked.

She huffed, "please?"

"Well, since you put it so nicely, it's 4:00…"

"Shit! I'm going to be late to Ru-chan's house! I knew I was going to get lost! I just knew it! Rima-chan is never good at giving directions!"

"Oi, what are you babbling on about?" I asked, I really do think this girl is mentally unstable. If before didn't prove it, now certainly does.

"Hey, what's your name?" she asked.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked back.

"Because it seems that you'll have to be my guide was this fantabulous journey I was gonna have. Since I don't know Tokyo that well."

I looked at her skeptically, "I'm Natsume Hyuuga."

"I'm Mikan Sakura," she said, her face sporting a wide smile.

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**Review!**


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